Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. II

My husband says so many dang funny things that the first volume couldn't contain him and I had to move on to Volume II.  To see all volumes, click here.  Enjoy!


SCENE:  Jeremy is teasing me about being a spendthrift (Yeah, I spent $9 on slippers.  Seriously.) and starts his "Rockafeller" routine.

Jeremy:  Oooh!  American Eagle slippers!  Aren't we fancy?

Veronica:  Shut it.  I got them at Payless and they were cheap.

Jeremy:  [in a mocking tone]  Oh, we are so rich.  Make it rain, baby!  Make it rain [makes motions that he later explains is supposed to represent money raining from the sky]  We're so rich we have a cat AND a dog!


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SCENE:  We just got done flipping our mattress (best decision we have made in months) and we are remaking the bed.

Jeremy:  [Wistfully] I don't know how I ever lived without a bed skirt.

Veronica:  HAHA!  Good one!

Jeremy:  No, seriously.  Bed skirts are so classy.


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SCENE:  Jeremy is coming home for lunch on Friday, my day off.  

Jeremy: [Pops head in door and begins singing] "It's like raaaaaayyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyynnnnnnnnnnnn/ on your wedding day!!!"

[Jeremy stops singing and points to me]

Veronica:  "It's a freeeeeeee riiiiiiiiiiddddddddddeeeeeee/ when you already paid!!"

[We sing back and forth for a few mintues.  Loudly.  MoJo runs upstairs.  Cleo looks very concerned and paces back and forth between us.]

Jeremy: [sigh]  See, it's a good thing I'm not Hef and you're not a cougar.

Veronica:  Ummmmm .... why?

Jeremy:  We wouldn't have been able to enjoy that little bit of common pop culture.